Finding Out We Are Having Twins

Talk about a whirlwind! After getting our positive pregnancy test at home (which I had to redo 3 times to make sure the lines were solid enough), we finally made it to the Doctor's office for our first check in.

I was shocked to learn with our initial conversations with our OBGYN that almost 33% of pregnancies end in miscarriage and I had been told my entire life it would be challenging to get pregnant due to a history of ovarian cysts.

My husband and I were both hoping for a girl [and we had done everything we could to make that happen]....but I just wanted to know if we had a healthy viable pregnancy. I had read online that a higher BPM for their initial heart rate indicated a healthier pregnancy and an increased likelihood that it was a girl.

I remember the doctor laying me down to do the ultrasound and very quickly finding the embryo and we could hear the heart rate. I was elated and just kept asking what the BPM was (for my own mental reassurance). Amidst waiting for her to answer - she said "Oh what is this, a second heartbeat?" to which my husband replied, "You mean my wife's?" and the doctor joked that if we counted mine then there were three.

My OBGYN looked up at us and said, "I didn't know you were doing fertility treatments!"

We replied, "We weren't" [I always reflect back on this and think, "Wouldn't you have known/been involved if we were doing fertility treatments?"]

The doctor then replied, "Who has twins on their side of the family?"

We replied, "Neither of us!"

At this very point, I am pretty sure I blacked out. When people ask how I handled finding out we were having twins, I reply, "It was a good thing that I was laying down because otherwise I would have fainted."

The doctor then sat me up to start to talk through all the potential complications and risks. She could tell they were identical, but was not sure if they shared the same gestational sac, too (mono-mono vs. mono-di twins).

When she asked if there were any further questions, my husband asked if she could just check one more time to make sure there were actually two...and she did reconfirm. On both occasions, Baby B's heartbeat was very weak and we were warned that we may lose one in the coming weeks, but would never know (disappearing twin syndrome).

After the doctor left the room, I burst into tears. I had planned for a lot, but not anything that the doctor said in those moments. My husband had no color in his face. We learned that we were being transferred to a perinatologist or a high-risk doctor that handled multiples...and that was the day we officially became parents and learned that this entire experience is about adapting to things you could never plan for.

I spent the rest of the afternoon at home bawling my eyes out. The more I Googled, the more scared I became....how could I prepare for the risks and challenges of two, but balance that with knowing it may only end up being one baby? Or what if we lost both?

It was weeks before we were able to confirm that the twins were mono-di (it was inconclusive until our 20-week ultrasound).